SICK! oh

11 02 2008

Oh my GOSH!  Usually when I’ve got a cold or something, I just keep going and toss it off.  Over the past 10 months, however, I’ve not been able to throw colds as easily.  I think that it has a lot to do with my not eating properly.  It’s not that I don’t like to eat, it’s just that I forget to sometimes – cooking for one is quite the bummer.

I got back from Huntington Beach feeling a little cold coming along.  After being sick going in to and coming out of Disney, I probaby have lowered defenses.  Huntington Beach … now that was a wet day wasn’t it?  Me being who I am – I couldn’t not be out cheering for my friends coming in.  I KNEW Brandon was injured going in to the race and that Rachael would be putting up with a complaining boyfriend … part of his hard-headded charm.  I did know that I was being rather foolhearty, but the smiles of people who were trying to finish up, really warmed my chilled heart.

The problem, of course, is that I walked in to this cold event not eating properly and I came out of it feeling like crap.  When I feel poorly, the last thing I want to do is what I should be doing – eating! 

I know I’ve mentioned this in the past, but another thing that is hard to deal with is my weight.  As I type this, I’ve got a 102.4 temp and I’m 163.  I was 170 when I left for Huntington Beach.  Most people would be thinking “Rock ON!” but I’m starting to become concerned.  I don’t much feel like eating, am getting weaker and coughing up science experiements.  All I want to do is sleep, walk and not feel like my back, wrists and ankles are encased in cement. 

I really shouldn’t be complaining – I mean, my patient honoree for Team In Training this go around isn’t even 2 and he’s gone through hell.  I want to get better so, for nothing else, I can be tested to see if I can be a marrow replacer for him.  Damn adorable bundle of energy who deserves to see his birthdays come and go with abandon!  A friend of mine said that his going through chemo as a kid puts illness into perspective and I know that I have seen a lot of things which causes me to put my paultry illnesses onto the back burner … but I’ve got to remember that I can only handle so much and after that, I’ve got to let it run it’s course.

I’ve pushed through a lot recently, and this is just kicking me down.  I am feeling like part of me is fine – I just can’t hear or properly speak … then I start to cough up science experiments laced with red ribbons.  I don’t want this, nor do I deserve it – but here it is anyway.  I lost most of Sunday and am having trouble concentrating today.  All I want to do is walk – even if it’s on a treadmill.  I’ll see if I can see clearly enough to take Bailey out for a little today.  The problem is that I just fell out of the chair slipping into minor unconsciousness.  More food, I guess. 

I just wish my body could make up it’s mind – I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of wanting to throw up and then hacking.  I just don’t get it!

Missing work is not an option, so I’ve got to kick this immediately!  I’ve got training to do!




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