“Time Starts Now”

18 02 2008

Since someplace in the middle of November last year, I started to find myself in a strange fog of sorts.  My training kept getting interrupted by colds and strange illnesses that I simply wasn’t able to shake.  I was constantly in a state of “hurry up” and was late anyway!  I know I had entirely too much on my plate, but I kept going anyway.  Things fell by the way-side.  Disney’s intestinal thingie really brought it home.

The time between Disney and Surf City … and really Now has been a bit of a blur.  I came home from Disney and couldn’t seem to put myself together.  I was sort of on forced downtime due to not being able to trust my system to do a proper long walk.  I did Surf City and started to get my head back on the beautiful drive back up from Huntington Beach to Los Angeles … then walked face first into this cross between a nasty cold and the flu.  Immunity down, sick office. Simple as that.

There’s a line in Air America where Robert Downey, Jr.’s character comments that he’s great in the air but when he’s on the ground he “messes” up.  I know what he’s talking about.  Put me on tour for a race, and I’m fine.  Point me in the direction I’ve got to go and give me 13 or 26 miles to get there, and I’m reasonably happy … after the first mile wherein I’m shaking things out.  Get me home and I’m pacing.  I’ve got things to do and I love my dog, but I’m not really jazzed like I am when I’m in a race or prepping for it.  Listening to complaints or filing bits of paper might pay the bills but it does nothing for my heart.  I want to teach, but I’m feeling undirected … but get me within three weeks of a race that means something to me – and I’m able to get my gimpy self going.

I have been told that part of my intermittent drive is that I don’t have a family.  I didn’t have kids and I’m not seeing anyone in Colorado.  that distraction isn’t added in t my mix – but I’ve got to do things that make me proud of myself.  Most ‘normal’ folks don’t get my competitive nature, but it’s there and wants to be challanged.  If I could find a way to just race (either’normal’ or in official racewalking events …. or both) and write – I could channel a lot of nervous energy into some good things … instead … I drive friends nuts and get depressed … and spend a lot of time in the bath. 

Boatloads of baths and re-readng Hitchhiker’s Guide are nice, but it doesn’t get anything accomplished.  Making no money and discovering you owe on your taxes is a rude surprise … as is finding that somehow a bright red something got wet and destroyed the race shirt you really liked. Ok- maybe not on the same level, but there you go!

Change is in the air – and this go around, I’m going with it! 

 Like many, I’ve got a lot of stuff lying around that just needs to go … physicially and emotionally.  Stuff, Stuff, STUFF! Stuff in storage. Stuff in the brain. Stuff around the house.  Stuff in the heart.  Stuff in the car. Stuff blowing off the balcony … Stuff snuffs out life!  Sometimes it feels like every time I get rid of one pile of stuff, three more get found! 

The biggest thing, I’m thinking, is realizing that I’ve been paying to store stuff … and I have been double purchasing because I can’t find things!  Time to just carve out and do the things I need to … I always feel better.

Lt. Bullett was right – “Time Starts Now.”

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One response

19 02 2008
Tammy

Hi Lizzy! Just found your blog from your post to Dave’s clinic alumni group. I’m a racewalker from Utah (hah! not many of us here…) and I love keeping up w/what other walkers are up to. Thanks for writing – I’ll be reading 🙂

Tammy

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