Motivation takes time

6 06 2012

     Don’t get me wrong. I do love to workout and train. Sometimes, however, all the nonsense of life takes precidence.
     I set a very modest goal for today. I have not been feeling well and school just restarted. It has also been stupid hot here. 
     Ok – stupid hot for a Native San Franciscian.
     I had lunch downtown Denver with a good friend I definately don’t see enough of and got home to do more studying. Backside hit the couch and it took my staring across the room at a pair of retired race shoes for me to get off my keester and get changed.
      I am always surprised how hard it can be for me to do something I like for me, until I remember that the past few years of training has been frustrating and discouraging.
      The only way to get “back where I belong” is a day and a step at a time.  I know that I have not enjoyed my working out because of my letting outside concerns crowd out the fun of the moment – or experience of the moment.
      I walked down to the park noting what I have to do when I get back. In a way, I left those concerns on the path down so I could collect them as I walked back.
      My training walk was good. Not perfect but good. The big thing was that I got out, did a couple good miles, and picked up my things to do list that I psychically left on the side of the path. Interestingly, the untidy list I had left was now neatly organized.
     The best part about breaking a routine and exercising is that the brain gets fresh blood and the body re-energized.
      Does for me at least. Give it a shot.
       Train ride done.

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All taped up and ready to go…

4 06 2012

      Well – not a terrific day to walk in Denver as when I got home it was 100 degrees F on my balcony. I thought of going to the treadmill at the 24 hour fitness then the power went out.
      Lemons and limes make a great  lemonade!
     I read my anatomy, started a study guide, watered the withering tomato plants and then started thinking about tomorrow’s walk.
     I have to get out early and make the most of it.
      In my rehabbing my self, I have been tackling both ends at once: Sport Psych for my head and KT tape for my feet.
      Coach Brian Cooper and I were talking and he suggested this to me. He got just about as much resistance and reluctance from me as when he suggested a jumper on my tibialis (knee). The fact that I have to use 4 strips and a spool of 20 precut Pro Grade (solid) strips costs $20 at the local Sports Authority didn’t have me thrilled. The pro tape, however, has lasted up to three days of my punnishing it and then doing water walking.
     The proof is in my feet remaining live longer than they did with my custom orthodics. Don’t get me wrong. I am a fan of orthodics but I prefer to be barefoot with strong and active feet.
     So, I taped up my feet and I am on my balcony listening to windchimes and the rumble of the apartment fountain. Wind is blowing and I am enjoying my cup of tea and book on the balcony.

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Perfection is overrated – first day of summer session

4 06 2012

     Well – I had my couple of weeks off! Last term was an academic bust for the most part, but a huge shift in priorities for me. It has to happen.
      As the line goes “everybody has a past” and, like many to varying degrees, mine has been wrapped around me like suffocating plastic wrap. Some of it I have wrapped myself and other bits were strapping taped in place by others when I wasn’t paying attention. Then there is keeping it because it felt like safe bubble wrap against future pain.
      Bosh.
      There are lessons to learn, but learn them and motor. I had been so used to the baggage I had finally neatly stacked in the corner of my psychic living room, that I kind of didn’t see it anymore. Last term, a handful of things came to the forefront that reminded me of the baggage that simply needed to go.
      My apparent desire for perfection lead to Pondering & Procrastination which lead to Missed Opportunities & A Wake-Up. Many folks don’t get that.
     My perfectionism was getting in the way of my enjoying the quirkiness of life.  Yeah – me the Procrastinating Perfectionist.
     I tried to quiet things down by finally going on a course of ADHD meds which left me nearly immobile and not really giving a crap about anything. Two 32’s on major course exams gave me the wake up I needed.
     Cut losses. Cut perfection. Cut the crap and get simpler.
      Everything unto my world had to be groundworked properly again. This was a safety mechanism I had to try to control for the variables. The problem is that some of the variables became the crazies taking over.  Because I had too many balls in the air, I became overwhelmed. 
      How can one move forward with so many things that turned into emergencies? DANGER MISS LIZZY!!! Protect yourself.
     What am I doing?
1. Letting some of the balls fall. They are usually the perceptions and nonsense of others anyway. 

2. Continuing the massive clear-out but including drips and drabs and a whole lot of paper documentation

3. A friend of mine sent me a promo photo from when we were kids. It got me thinking about a lot of things that I don’t really look at because a lot of my life centered on documenting the world around me. Time for me to be in that world.

4. Dealing with what I can and asking for help on what I can’t. Action far more important.

     There are a lot of opportunities that my pondering perfectionistic procrastination has caused me to put aside thinking they will very there later. Not so. Life moves on.
     A person from my past said “Lizzy, I just figured you would always very there because you always were. Then I turned around to see that I never put into the friendship, just took. I decided you belonged in a box as you went through things, but you turned that box into a planter.”
     Life is a lot simpler when we allow it to be. I have things, like everyone, that really hurt and people who think they are being protective by not being open to change and different modes if thought.
      So, first day back into the last year of second undergraduate degree finds me a lot lighter. Let the games begin.

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