Asked to start writing again

25 09 2012


Probably not one of my better photos, but backward shooting on a moving train.

I was asked to start writing again. I am not exactly sure why, but I guess it has something to do with my being fairly honest about my process with sport and evolution. To me, they are pretty linked.

This morning finds me still limping badly. Up to this point, I can honestly say I have missed every major training target due to those lingering issues that, if not handled, really put a railroad spike in my motivation.

I do see the positive, even in my crabby outlook. I am finally taking care of those injury issues that I have long ignored or tried to simply power through. The problem with the enduring thing is that I know I have far more potential and I haven’t been near reaching it again. The only way to reach any level, however, is building a firm foundation. In this case, it is chasing the recurring injuries and dealing with the causes once and for all.

Yeah – and that collides with the fact that I am an impatient person with myself.

I will admit that my becoming frustrated with the incredibly slow process and “oh yes, Miss Shepard, it is going to take 3 months minimum to burn/cut/heal the injuries to the bottom of both feet” really hit hard. I found myself camping out, stretching, in front of the telly, reaching for whatever was handy.

Around the Olympics my DVR and cable connections became wonky. I laughed at myself because I had started to have that attitude of “I can’t miss x or y telly program.” It is an attitude I truly don’t understand and here I was, sucked into it! Sure, my programs are usually well crafted mysteries or documentaries – but timewaster is waist-enhancer.

I took the DVR back to Comcast and picked up their regular box. I then noticed just how much I was paying for the thing. As I started to renegotiate the bill for the only service I truly *need* (cable internet), I found it was more expensive if I dumped the telly & phone (yeah – phone … not real landline either)!

I didn’t hook the box up for a couple of weeks. Didn’t miss much, I am sure. Happy to miss the political mudslinging. I relaxed, got on the balcony, and slowly took walks to try to rehab the feet.

The idiot box is back up. I catch the BBC news and use it for music. If I miss a program, who cares? The big thing I noticed was after all these years of explaining and linking media and society, I don’t understand the appeal of the offerings. That is probably a good thing. I can still tag demographics within 5 minutes — odd but useful talent.

As I limp onto campus, I hear people bemoaning some football call, parroting political soundbytes, and being plugged in to their screaming headphones; completely ignoring the beautiful morning.


Motivation takes time

6 06 2012

     Don’t get me wrong. I do love to workout and train. Sometimes, however, all the nonsense of life takes precidence.
     I set a very modest goal for today. I have not been feeling well and school just restarted. It has also been stupid hot here. 
     Ok – stupid hot for a Native San Franciscian.
     I had lunch downtown Denver with a good friend I definately don’t see enough of and got home to do more studying. Backside hit the couch and it took my staring across the room at a pair of retired race shoes for me to get off my keester and get changed.
      I am always surprised how hard it can be for me to do something I like for me, until I remember that the past few years of training has been frustrating and discouraging.
      The only way to get “back where I belong” is a day and a step at a time.  I know that I have not enjoyed my working out because of my letting outside concerns crowd out the fun of the moment – or experience of the moment.
      I walked down to the park noting what I have to do when I get back. In a way, I left those concerns on the path down so I could collect them as I walked back.
      My training walk was good. Not perfect but good. The big thing was that I got out, did a couple good miles, and picked up my things to do list that I psychically left on the side of the path. Interestingly, the untidy list I had left was now neatly organized.
     The best part about breaking a routine and exercising is that the brain gets fresh blood and the body re-energized.
      Does for me at least. Give it a shot.
       Train ride done.


All taped up and ready to go…

4 06 2012

      Well – not a terrific day to walk in Denver as when I got home it was 100 degrees F on my balcony. I thought of going to the treadmill at the 24 hour fitness then the power went out.
      Lemons and limes make a great  lemonade!
     I read my anatomy, started a study guide, watered the withering tomato plants and then started thinking about tomorrow’s walk.
     I have to get out early and make the most of it.
      In my rehabbing my self, I have been tackling both ends at once: Sport Psych for my head and KT tape for my feet.
      Coach Brian Cooper and I were talking and he suggested this to me. He got just about as much resistance and reluctance from me as when he suggested a jumper on my tibialis (knee). The fact that I have to use 4 strips and a spool of 20 precut Pro Grade (solid) strips costs $20 at the local Sports Authority didn’t have me thrilled. The pro tape, however, has lasted up to three days of my punnishing it and then doing water walking.
     The proof is in my feet remaining live longer than they did with my custom orthodics. Don’t get me wrong. I am a fan of orthodics but I prefer to be barefoot with strong and active feet.
     So, I taped up my feet and I am on my balcony listening to windchimes and the rumble of the apartment fountain. Wind is blowing and I am enjoying my cup of tea and book on the balcony.



Perfection is overrated – first day of summer session

4 06 2012

     Well – I had my couple of weeks off! Last term was an academic bust for the most part, but a huge shift in priorities for me. It has to happen.
      As the line goes “everybody has a past” and, like many to varying degrees, mine has been wrapped around me like suffocating plastic wrap. Some of it I have wrapped myself and other bits were strapping taped in place by others when I wasn’t paying attention. Then there is keeping it because it felt like safe bubble wrap against future pain.
      There are lessons to learn, but learn them and motor. I had been so used to the baggage I had finally neatly stacked in the corner of my psychic living room, that I kind of didn’t see it anymore. Last term, a handful of things came to the forefront that reminded me of the baggage that simply needed to go.
      My apparent desire for perfection lead to Pondering & Procrastination which lead to Missed Opportunities & A Wake-Up. Many folks don’t get that.
     My perfectionism was getting in the way of my enjoying the quirkiness of life.  Yeah – me the Procrastinating Perfectionist.
     I tried to quiet things down by finally going on a course of ADHD meds which left me nearly immobile and not really giving a crap about anything. Two 32’s on major course exams gave me the wake up I needed.
     Cut losses. Cut perfection. Cut the crap and get simpler.
      Everything unto my world had to be groundworked properly again. This was a safety mechanism I had to try to control for the variables. The problem is that some of the variables became the crazies taking over.  Because I had too many balls in the air, I became overwhelmed. 
      How can one move forward with so many things that turned into emergencies? DANGER MISS LIZZY!!! Protect yourself.
     What am I doing?
1. Letting some of the balls fall. They are usually the perceptions and nonsense of others anyway. 

2. Continuing the massive clear-out but including drips and drabs and a whole lot of paper documentation

3. A friend of mine sent me a promo photo from when we were kids. It got me thinking about a lot of things that I don’t really look at because a lot of my life centered on documenting the world around me. Time for me to be in that world.

4. Dealing with what I can and asking for help on what I can’t. Action far more important.

     There are a lot of opportunities that my pondering perfectionistic procrastination has caused me to put aside thinking they will very there later. Not so. Life moves on.
     A person from my past said “Lizzy, I just figured you would always very there because you always were. Then I turned around to see that I never put into the friendship, just took. I decided you belonged in a box as you went through things, but you turned that box into a planter.”
     Life is a lot simpler when we allow it to be. I have things, like everyone, that really hurt and people who think they are being protective by not being open to change and different modes if thought.
      So, first day back into the last year of second undergraduate degree finds me a lot lighter. Let the games begin.


Back to writing and training — starting with a track club …. rewrite

7 03 2012


### Well – thank you to a wonderful reader for some errors. I type while on the train to campus on my Android and sometimes biff it!! Cheers — LS ###
Winter is nearly over in Denver. I have done a great deal of thinking and listened to the input of friends who are also professionals in my next industry of fitness. They know that I am bifurcated like many adult athletes — I want to double up my training but am smart enough to know better. Listening to that “Know better” side has been the rub. Of course, my studies at Metro State, Denver has been giving me the scientific underpinning to force myself to listen.

Many know that one of my grandfathers was a mathemagician and scientist and the other worked his way through industries seeing the future and ended up at the top of part of the entertainment industry. I would like to say I am being guided by the best of both of them.

The entertainment industry grandfather told me early on to investigate the organizations I want to join because by joining I am linking my name and reputation to them. He had friends blacklisted during the Red Scare but also learned that some didn’t know the negative tendrals of the organizations joined.

I have made mistakes, but can extradite myself after doing continued due diligence. In simple language “doing my homework.” I am particularly careful now that fitness is my new industry.

Audio was so much easier.

I have been looking for a place to be motivated and belong as I return to racewalking. I am reworking everything as I undo the bad habits from working around injury.

I have known of the Phidippides Track Club in Denver for a number of years. My friend and speedy sneaker Jay S. had mentioned the club to me after I came in from the Colfax Half Marathon when I was starting to ride high on my racewalking. I remember saying at the time that I wasn’t sure if I belonged. He said that the club had had racewalkers in it and that I was more than welcome. All I could see was a bunch of super fast racers knowing what they are doing and smiled saying “Someday, Jay. Someday!” He smiled and said “You are welcome anytime.”

Uh ok. Heard that before then felt completely demoralized and outclassed.

Flash forward nearly three years, enduring a debilitating injury load, and a little knocking of sense into my head later … Facebook. Is there really a place for me with the track club known fondly as “Phids”?

In the same week that coach Brian Cooper and Coach Jim Leppik reminded me (in two different time zones) that 5km is an endurance sport, 2-a-days are stupid, Coach Chris Tetro joined the chorus reminding me of my concern about needing direction, Jay put out the reminder that Phids was starting. I printed out the application.

I spoke with my crew. My biggest fear was that I am so slow right now that I would not be welcome. Their fifth group is about a 9 minute mile. My goal for this year is to get faster but dumping 5 minutes without running?

I know speedy sneakers that are in Phidippides – honestly supportive friends. I heard my grandfather and did my homework. Steve, who sets the track workouts, is a trainer of highly competitive athletes. And I trust Jay, Scott K, and Mike Q implicitly as they would prefer to see me happily chasing them in races …. and them cheering me in another hour later!

Jay wrote a lovely note of introduction to Steve. And after I met him, Steve reminded me not to be an idiot!! Big smiles from friends as they took off for their 2 mile time trial.

Yeah – this is a good place.

I watched the workout. Know that I have my lane and have a goal of being able to competitively join the regular workouts.

What I needed was to feel welcome and learn by both helping and doing. 

Really looking forward to my Tuesdays with Phidippides! Of course, I will be missing at least one a month to go to Broomfield to train with High Altitude Racewalk Team.

Will keep you posted!!