100 Miles in Months not Weeks

22 06 2011

image

“Ok – get off your own back, Shep! You have been injured and dealing with the general nonsense of cleaning up your life, so 100 miles on a pair of kicks over several months is ok, but not a permanent situation.  Just keep going!”

Sigh. Sometimes my “Inner Coach” has to remind me of things, and the fact that I am putting myself back together slowly is important to remind me of.

Yesterday, my goal was to walk 2x around Bible Park. When I measured it for Susan, it came out to 2.65 km by my Garmin. She was doing 4x around. We did upper body in Coach Tetro’s class, so at least my shoulder girdle was warmed up.

I probably didn’t eat enough because I felt kind of off. Having Susan out there got me out of my complacancy. I stuffed my waterbottle in the hole Susan found in the tree and took off.

I didn’t feel clunky, but just low energy. I still don’t have pacing in my muscle memory, so when I feel slow, I probably am a bit faster.

I noticed my focus was a bit off. A handful of things I need to get done. No. The thing I need to get done is the task at hand – my training! I just gave myself short goals and knew I would stop for about a minute for water at the tree.

I got back to the tree, gulped water with Hammer Grapefruit Fizz in it, and wondered about the second lap. I was tired but not dead.

Ok I was depressed or frustrated and not dead. If I stopped, it would be like doing an easy 20 repetitions and not pushing myself.

I tossed my 2010 Virginia Beach R&R tech shirt into the tree and with excess weight squished between Addidas brand jog bra and short bike shorts started out.

It was OK. I saw my downstairs neighbor walking his dog. Coming up a hill, I saw my friend and client Trapper Shaw leaning against a tree.  “YOU CAN DO IT!!! All night looonnngg!! Yeaahh!” I smiled and said “Meet me at the tree!!”

About 200 meters later, I saw Susan zipping around for her last lap. I could do this. Friends on the course. Tree (like finish line) straight ahead. What is different for me is friend waiting at the end. 

Walking back, Susan did notice that I was walking uneven – like my left knee hurt. Maybe I am compensating for the still present pain in my right posterior hip. Something to think about.

I did a lot of my racing flying solo until my Virginia Beach crew. Before that, friendly runners waiting were people I had ridden with. I mean no disrespect, just that is the way it has been.

Susan flies out tomorrow and I will have to kick my own butte to get out and train.  I also have to get up to the High Altitude Racewalk Team trainings. Maybe ask some runners to just use the same area for their training as I get used to 2+ km loops.

So, I will Shoe Goo my right shoe and maybe 100 miles will only take weeks again soon.





Schedule Setting

20 08 2009

It’s truly been an interesting week. It started out a bit difficult and my 16 mile training walk turned into a long walk to clear out the nonsense. It happens. Although I want to fly as much as possible in my races, I’m still a bit clunky so I’m working to smooth out that and everything else.

First week through classes was really good. Actually, it reminded me of when I was going to SRJC when classes really felt like they were thought out and the professors truly jazzed by interacting and learning, not some self-serving one way monologue. I’m interested and potentially meeting really good mentors and such. It’ll be interesting because I’ve got a lot of things I need to get done this semester.

I made most of my travel arrangements because Southwest is having a really good sale at this point. I also made my arrangements for San Jose. I really needed to get this handled because I truly *do* have a lot of things I need to keep in line. I’ve not made the Fresno arrangements yet … will probably get that done next week. I had to get these done so I can notify the TA or professors of the days I’m out of town.

In an effort to be able to really carve out my training time, I paid attention to how my academic schedule works … or doesn’t! When I got my 2 week schedule from Dave, I was dismayed that it was appearing I would be off M/Tu/W mainly because of my school schedule and the fact that my Tuesday would potentially be on cement. Because my training is important to my all around health, I realized that if I get out of class on time on Wednesday, I can dive to a track on the way home. Although I want to take the train more because of the ecological aspect and the fact that it won’t cost me $4.50 – $5.50/day for covered parking … not including wear and tear on the car. I have a chunk of time between work and my Tuesday class, but it’s better to use that time in the campus weight room or swimming vs. potentially hurting myself. I’m probably driving DMcG nuts with my ever-changing schedule, but once it’s nailed down, it’s going to be nailed down until December.

Although there are a few hinks that are going to have to be worked out, I think I’ve got the blocks in place. I would really like to be able to get comfortable with training even when I’m tired. I also don’t train well in the evening, so I’m pushing myself to do it!

🙂





Just over 4 miles training in the cookies….

15 07 2009

Yesterday was a 4+ miler … and the first day I could train wearing the cookies. I was a bit apprehensive because, let’s face it, these things are kind of freaky and have caused some problems … in order to fix more.

Doc said that he wanted me to wear them during the break-in period for training in a straight line. No track, no uneven surface … that just screams an hour on the treadmill, but it was icky hot anyway and I could treat myself to the dry sauna afterward.

They didn’t hurt but did feel a little strange. I guess I’m just not used to something being that high under my arch. The proof of the pudding, of course, was how was I doing today … and I’m fine, more or less.

Today’s track work out isn’t going to be done with the cookies unless he says it’s OK. Doc ran track and is concerned with the edges. So … unless I really feel like it, it’ll be back into my spare insoles … I’m down with that … It’s also nice weather … let’s hope it holds for when I can get to the track!





A Discussion of Zombies & Visualizations; Cookies & Environment: A refusal to let this get me down!!!

11 07 2009

zombiemary.jpg Zombie Mary image by DeadMeatDigs

Okey dokey – it’s interesting how changes that just happen by chance can really help one out. What I mean is this has truly been a crappy 1/2 year with respect to my being injured, being frustrated about it, general depression that comes with the lot of things, and, most of all, really crappy races. Attitude, which I’ve written about a lot, has a lot to do with everything, however that attitude has to be real … the “fake it until you make it” doesn’t work when there’s a lot stacked against it.

I’ve written about the little milestones and have been really slammed about them. I’ve had more things thrown against me than I let be known because they truly are stupid. I just keep getting off the ground and pulling the shards of glass out of myself to try to move on. There are a few which I’ve let my true disgust and frustration with the situations at hand be known to … in differing levels. So much of the nonsense is coming up because of my off-loading garbage and finally doing whatever it takes to get me back on track.  I really don’t expect anyone to understand why things affect me the way they do.  The “oh just get over it” is fine when dealing with your own life, but when applying it to someone else’s … it’s important to know what’s going on. 
 
Interestingly, as I’ve been going through the hard part of dejunking and doing those things I’ve been procrastinating about, I’ve started having some amazing people just kind of show up. It’s that situation where you get rid of crap … zombies of the past realize you’ve gotten rid of them and try to waddle back into your life … but somehow, some amazing new folks have kind of knocked some out of the way.  Ok – so I’m just a little too visual, hu?

The Zombies – By Gang:
Lack of Motivation
Trying to Fit In or Be Accepted
Conform or Die
Procrastination
You Can’t Leave Us Behind
You Can’t Do That ….
Fear … You might not be fearful, but you should be … and why.

Oh No You Don’t!
You Can’t Do That – You’re Broken Remeber???

We’re Right; You’re Wrong … Remember That
The PAST = The FUTURE … so always remember every little thing you’ve done wrong … and if you forget … we’ll make sure you remember

 
The thing about all these Zombie Gangs is that they have a lot to do with self esteem and the people you meet along the way. Since I’ve admitted that self-esteem for me has always been an issue, most of my zombies have something to do with this. 
 
Why am I talking about Zombies? Well, because I’ve been chunking them away over the past month. Taking away their food, putting away the hurts of the past, taking stock of now, clearing up the messes the best that I can and … well … not damning myself about it. What it has to do with my racing and exercise is this: Last year, I “dealt” with a lot of things by not dealing with them! I raced and raced and raced and defined myself by the next race. I didn’t take care of me really and the Zombies just waited for me to truly fall over and swooooooooop!
 
Over the past few weeks, I’ve started to connect with some amazing people – a new group of professionals, friends and connections. Yeah, MacQ – you’re the ringleader of the goofy friends team … I can see you now making sure the party in the front yard of my mind is not only fun, but making sure the Zombies aren’t invited … their party is someplace else!! In their own way, by accepting me as I am, they’ve been helping to push some of the Zombies back just by taking their space in the front yard. The Zombies aren’t really happy about this, so they’ve been rallying.
 
In taking care of me, I mentioned that I’m back under chiropractic care. I am a believer of chiropractic medicine, however after feeling a bit taken advantage of, I’ve gotten skeptical. Actually, I’ve gotten skeptical about a lot of things. The thing is that right away they determined the issues with my back, hips, knee and feet. This week, I started wearing orthodics which make changes of their own. The thing with the orthodics is that they’re to be worn 1 hour incrementally for 8 days *normal wear* for this week and then next week I can toss them into my sneakers and  repeat the 1 hour incremental for another 8 days. In two weeks, I’ll be the queen of swapping cookies (orthodics) from shoe to shoe!
 
Doc said that sitting down didn’t constitute any of the hour, so I wore them to work … and I got about an hour maybe an hour and a half. I also got seriously irritated and swapped out to slam 100-meters as fast as possible … not one of my brighter ideas, but it kept me from screaming! Friday, I wore them for what was supposed to be two hours before starting a new Pilate’s Allegro Reformer class. I think I wore them maybe three hours walking/standing/moving because I was doing errands.
 
The Pilates class introduced me to the next really good Professional on Team Shep – Cathleen. I ended up with a “private” lesson where we were able to get to know one another and she said I’ll have no problem with the regular class. The time of it (Noon on Fridays) really cuts the day apart, but … She also teaches private yoga and Pilate’s … and it turns out she’s the gal that Jill from the Rec Center has been trying to get me to go to since December … and Jill’s been telling her about this “crazy racewalker” … I got a good vibe here.
 
Since I was at the Rec Center and it was really hot out, I decided I was going to do my miles on the indoor track. I get seriously bored doing this and will find myself on the treadmill when it’s either too hot on the glass lined track or too full. It was swamping hot, so I popped to the treadmill and BOTH my knees were hurting a bit. When I was leaving the chiropractor, I felt a twinge at the top of my right hamstring — which makes me nervous — but he said it was normal because we were making changes in my legs … but to heed it!!!!  Having both knee areas hurting really started to get to me, but I really wanted to think … and I do think well by going around in circles or kind of mindlessly being on the treadmill.
 
Several Zombie Gangs started to converge and almost fight in the front yard of my mind. You’re broken … you’re worthless … you’ve pushed too much and you’re going to pay for it for forever … why are you bothering? Time to just give up this silliness and eat bon-bons on the couch … You’re wasting time/money and other peoples’ time trying to do something you’re obviously not capable/motivated/determined enough to do … You should be taking care of things that mean something to other people or are ‘socially correct’ rather than beating your head against the wall … you’re fat … you’re never going to catch up to where you were last year and all you do is let people down.
 
Oofah! Pretty harsh words in my own head just from a little issue. I guess it’s because I’ve been exploring all those dark parts of my head and putting light on them. It really took a little out of me. Those oozing, pestilent Zombies kept floating about as I was walking along … then I started thinking about the new folks who have accepted me – warts and over-thinking and all – into their worlds. I don’t really train with other people just because I need the room in the schedule, but I’ve got an amazing group of Gals that keep me going with what they’re doing via Facebook and e-mail. I’m surrounding myself with good professionals who have actually taken the time to get to know me and are helping me figure out goals, dreams and things for me. Becoming re-acquainted long distance with old friends and making new ones … well … the Zombies don’t have much of a chance … unless *I* let them in the gate.
 
I was talking with my buddies who have me in a sports psychology study of theirs. They’re really  interested in my Zombie theory because it makes a lot of sense … they’re only visible and felt to the particular person and not understood by anyone else …. you know, the Dementors of Harry Potter books. I felt the weight of these Zombies and the starting pain in my knees … and immediately told them “Hey … You’re NOT getting this kitty down! No way! I’m just going to back off the mileage, pay attention to what I’m doing, and know that this is short-run NOT long run! If I listen to you guys … it’s long run! I’ll push too hard and be out of sneakers for days-weeks-months again! I’ll do nothing and put on another 10 pounds! Forget you all!!! I’ll admit there’s an issue. I’ll admit I’m frustrated. I’ll make the adjustment and be the positive force in my life that friends say I am in theirs!” …
 
Shouting down imaginary bi-polar Zombies … Shep’s truly losing it this time!
 
I felt pretty embarrassed, mind you, but they want to know what is going on to help me flip it to my advantage. It turned out the guys said they liked the honesty and visualization.  When I got home, there was an e-mail: “Lizzy – only you can start out with a situation where some will either shove too hard through or just give up and turn it in to a Zombie Drama Abatement session stemming from minor pain of  wearing a pair of cookies to straighten out your gait! Must admit, at least you’re willing to picture it to get rid of it. Visualization is a large part of success in sport and life. Most people talk about visualizing the finish line, getting the medal, meeting the goal, ZombieCat.jpg Zombie Cat image by Mewzikcatand the like. Right now you’re doing that by visualizing exactly what you are ridding yourself of, making it disgusting in a way that you can deal with it and doing it. We always knew you were a visual person! Now that you can visualize the horrors and abate them … time to visualize good racewalk form, being surrounded by good people, and completing races … the Zombies have no place in training or life … close the gate. Off you go Padawan … take your light sabre to them!!! Cheers – Yoda and Obi-Wan” They sent me the Kitty Zomby photo … Giggle.
 
So … where am I going with this … There are a lot of things that are involved in success. We all handle things differently. I’m one of the handful of single friends and most have said “Wow, Shep, you really do go through things alone, don’t you.” Yeah, kinda. I’m the only one who can slay my own Zombies, but it’s nice to feel like I have a team around me who are working on their own things. It’s the power of the environment and I’m really affected by my environment. I might be really perplexing to most folks that are on my Team, but it’s simply because there are so many things at cross purposes … Zombie Gangs.
 
Last night, I couldn’t sleep. Zombies and nightmares … heat and nagging feelings … ok … it’s just I’m clearing away a lot of messes. I checked my e-mail to find out if I’d gotten an e-mail about where the group a friend of mine asked me to monitor next week was and there was nothing. I did get an e-mail from a racewalking friend from Alaska who I’m really proud to have on my Team. She asked me point blank what was going on …  not going to let me fall into depression or whatever. 4:00 a.m. Colorado time, and I just wrote … hopefully it made sense! Wow … blew me away she took the time to say “OK – we’re gonna talk … NOT ON FACEBOOK!!!”
 
When I left at 6 a.m., I still didn’t have a hit in the in-box about the Saturday morning group. Since I don’t usually work out with people, it’s not a natural for me to hook up with a group (even TNT!) … I guess it’s because when I was doing TNT, I was in a strange place.  The first go with TNT, I was told I would be running even t 

hough I’d stated emphatically that I wanted to walk. Bad taste. Next time would have been fine, but I was kind of between groups – not exactly a walker and not the speed of the runners … and I also have my own training schedule. One of my goals is to get over my feeling like I’ll hold people back and go out and walk with folks. It’s kind of a big one. When it comes to my training, I tend to be alone. When it comes to being with others, I’m more concerned about them. I just need to find a few training partners and get over it … not to self, contact Becky!  At any rate, I hit the track and during warming up, nothing felt right. I stretched and tried again. Ok – this isn’t feeling good. The Zombie “Quitter” seemed to wake up and I just walked “normally” for a bit to see if things would abate. A guy showed up with a dog and just let him run around the track without calling him back. I had to stop several times as I was being jumped on by the dog. There are reasons I rarely use this track!

 
I went home, checked the mail again. No note in the in-box. Grabbed Bailey and went to clear both our heads for a little. I can give the track a try later this afternoon even with the heat. I’ll do miles tomorrow. I refuse to hurt myself, but I refuse to hide behind it. I’ll work on chipping away a bit of one of the Zombies this afternoon … then go back out later.
 
 




6/22-6/28 – A week in Review

29 06 2009

Okeeeyyy Dokeeeyyy — Well … this was an … um … week!

On my schedule page, I’ve given each month a general goal and I’ve truly fallen short of them up to this point. In updating, I realized that just before the end of the month, I’ve actually started them! Yippy Skip! The things I do when I’m not paying attention surely astound me!

This week starts a new schedule with the focus on getting the miles together for some long races starting in September. Ok – that sounds great, doesn’t it? That’s the polite way of stating “getting my s#%t together and getting the h#ll out of my own way while putting ME first!!!” Ok – maybe not, but that’s what I’m doing without being mean about it. Will be adding things every week. This week is as simple as possible.

Overall: Reasonably happy. Learning, growing, relaxing, and getting in the sneakers. Always a good thing! Mileage isn’t accurate because missing track workout …

Monday: First appointment with new Chiropractor for evaluation. Brought box of shoes with variety of insoles in them. I’m fairly skeptical with chiropractors and medical professionals mainly because I’m tired of spending money on things which appear to be very logical in the beginning, but are fluff & buff OR hearing how the best course of action isn’t exercise and paying attention to the problem but drugs and surgery or “just deal with it and stop exercising because you’re too old.” Too old my left sock!  Results will be in on Tuesday. Not going to the gym for weights until I’ve been evaluated.

Tuesday:Work, OK. Left early because of interview re: Clear Card issues here. Making up hours through the week. Got me thinking about things for me, etc. A handful of miles outside with Bailey, but not really what I’d call a workout. Overview appointment with Dr. Dokter (sp). It appears I’m ‘fixable’ and my legs are really out of alignment which has me putting more stress on the ligaments and tendons of my knee. This, along with my pronating, is causing me to spend more time on the outside of my right foot and toes which explains the new blistering problem and toe soreness. Dr. Dr. finds the racewalking flier I gave him fascinating and is paying more attention. Was able to print out my schedule for him and he’s got it in the file.  Really hot – did training sweating like a pig on the treadmill.
Knee at level 5 pain; middle of shoulders at level 4.  Miles: 4.70     60 minutes     Treadmill Random Hills

Wednesday: Work allowed for a very explosive Economy track workout. However, I didn’t get a chance to get it off the watch and into my log-book I write my weekly review to DMcG from and will be writing this weekly review from before it was stolen from a friend’s rental car in my gym bag. Ok, I could handle losing the gym bag – I need gym bags like holes in my head … but the watch was a real bummer. I know I stormed through the Economy workout with a full head of steam and a little aggression to deal with. The watch was a spare Garmin 205 … yeah, spare 205. A friend of mine was cleaning out his drawers and he had three 205’s … pardon me? Anyway, he gave me one of his spares to keep in my gym bag … and … now they’re gone. It was in his car, so I’m not concerned … however I would have thought someone who travels as much as he does, he’d remember to close the windows and lock the doors when leaving the car in a parking lot.

Thursday:It’s been entirely too hot in Denver and everywhere. I’m only in the rec center because I’m concerned about the heat and having to work out later. Ok – that’s what I’m saying and I’m sticking with it. I’ve also decided I *hate* cottonwood trees. No … not really. If I have to do treadmill work, I probably warm up better because I work on some exercises using the track. Englewood Rec is really quite nice.
Knee at level 5.5 pain;  Miles: 4.70     60 minutes     Treadmill Random Hills

Friday:Chiroand Housework! Great chat with Dr.Dr. We did the molds for new orthodics (sp. word cookies easier to type!) and it felt a lot … um … different than when I had them done the first time. There is a potential of taking the old ones and re-heating them to mold them for my feet now, but unsure what I want to do at this point. I’m just wanting to get going in the right direction. Left leg was a full inch off the right according to Dr. Dr. and he was able to get me back in line with an ecstatic “Sweeettt!!!” I must admit that it is nice to have a doc who is a little goofy and really enthusiastic. Middle of my shoulders not giving yet, but it’s going to happen. Slammed on time, so ended up back in the Englewood Rec Center this morning. A good thing, actually, because I could point out precisely where it hurt because I was only about 20 minutes off the treadmill when I saw him. He showed me how things worked on a muscle chart — I’ve seen this before, but he was also able to explain why my right foot rolls and hurts. I like he’s taking the time.
Knee at level 6 pain; right foot feeling slightly numb and little toe hurts like crazy.  Miles: 4.70     60 minutes     Treadmill Random Hills

Saturday: Upper d*#m hot – so I decided to really get working on the house, do some homework and go to the track when it cools off in the evening. Set up with a couple of runners to meet for my long day. They’ll be doing about 10 miles more than me, but after having problems last weekend, I’d like to have others out there, even if we’re all spaced out. One has a knee problem they’re just bracing and the other has a foot problem. Neither believe in chiropractic and both have teased me slightly for emptying my schedule and going for miles. Well, it’s great to see folks who live in other states, but I think I’m making the right decision. We’re meeting before they leave. Track was OK. I still feel like I’m loping to the side. Maybe I am, Maybe I’m not. I’ve got to be patient and keep going. Using the Garmin 205 just to keep track of things. Writing down *only* the amount of time per repeat:
To Do: Warm-up followed by 8×400
Lap 1:           2:41     
Lap 2:           2:40     Knee Level 4
Lap 3:           2:56     
Lap 4:           2:48     
Lap 5:           2:48     Knee Level 5; Not able to catch breath comfortably
Lap 6:           2:50   
Lap 7:           2:56    F*#king Cottonwood Trees!
Lap 8:            2:43

Sunday:Ok -had to start after 3 p.m. when it cooled off because friends decided it was too hot to run. Frustrating, but not much I can do. Actually, really got me torqued, but put that energy into cleaning. Walked a new-to-me route and started out in level 5 pain with it jumping up to level 7 just after 10 miles. Nice thing is that calf wasn’t really a player – just the tendon area. Maybe it’s localizing. I’m down with that. Really pissed off with the blistering of the bottom of my right foot. thought I’d collected more blood blisters! Callous on edge of right little toe has a brand new blister under it and can still see the remnant of the blood blister inside. EERRRFFFF!!!!  HOWEVER – I got out there and got going. If I have to pop on flip flops to get down the stairs, so be it! Shoulders came in to the equation this go around. Very hot and needed to tell myself I wasn’t going slowly but was trucking along on an easy day.  EASY Shepard … oh my … maybe I’m going from being a binary On/Off to a rheostat shade of whatever starting to internalize what training is … starting … Used Nathan hydration vest. Will pop a photo in on another entry.
Knee at level 5-7  pain; middle of shoulders at level 7.  Miles: 14 (Lookie DMcG … a full long day workout!)    3:10:00 minutes   





Finding the gem … and Changing a Motivational Pattern …

20 05 2009

journal 4When Doc (what we’ll just call my bud the Sports Psychologist) asked for all my journals and such for the last couple of years to see if there was a trend, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting the quantity that he got. He was probably assuming that he’d get a flash drive with everything on it, not several bound books and binders. I guess although I’ve worked with computers since 1982, I still don’t completely trust them. Probably has a lot to do with the nature of electronic media … I donno. Anyway, I sent him everything I had. That takes a lot of trust actually because I tend to flush out my brain through a pen … and, with any luck, seeing things on paper gives me direction or the potential of seeing how completely in error my viewpoint has been.

The interesting thing about what he did was he tallied up recurring themes and said that he was surprised to see such an even path … and a path that I’d already noticed in the personal journals.journal 1 Just the stupid stuff that I kept seeing as just out of my grip. He also noticed that there were many things that I obviously wanted to either streamline or just to feel like I had a “normal” life that I would increasingly be blown away by how they just wouldn’t materialize. The one that really made him laugh was my mailing address. I’ve had a PO Box downtown for years. It was OK when I used to take a bus nearby or worked downtown, but it’s gotten to be a bit of a drag over the years. In an effort to streamline home, I’ve been trying to shift bills and such from my PO Box to my physical address. This shouldn’t be a problem, right?

journal 2

In those journals, there are dates that things didn’t show … pre-race notification, bills etc … but it appeared things were getting better so I tried to have bills that *needed* to be paid *immediately* sent to the home address … health insurance, electric bill, etc … things that were not available on-line.  As things kind of exploded and I started really going through the copious piles of crap in the house, I didn’t think too much of it … that is until I got to the point where I was looking at finances carefully and noticed “Hum … did Kaiser ever send that direct withdrawal form?”

Heart sank. Called Kaiser this morning to find out that according to their records my mail had been returned. It appears that the postal carrier must have been putting it in the wrong box or something even though Kaiser, finally, had the address right. journal

What’s the definition of Insanity? Doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome? Sigh. Ok … I know where I am with this now, and it is just a matter of regrouping … again. Of course, I’m concerned about getting re-accepted because of a lot of things, but most recently because I’ve actually been trying to be seen for my leg issue. I’m not sure if they’ll see that as a “pre-existing” condition and waiver it off. If that happens, I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do.

trainingAs Doc waded through my training journals, he noticed something really interesting when he mated the days to my personal journal. DMcG probably already knows this … as does everyone else BUT me … but my training is usually liked to how the rest of the world is going. When I was competing race->race->race, it was like the only thing I felt I could do right was race and it was the only time I felt alive … but I did note that there was a sinking feeling of almost anger and disgust mixed along with it. Where I’d once been able to just toss away the whatnot of the day and go out and enjoy even a mediocre training walk, I put so much pressure on myself to make everything work … and not really accept that training means TRAINING one’s body to be able to handle the challenges …

“Lizzy – you used to love your training simply because you could get away from stuff  and spend time with Bailey or exploring a new route. Time to get back there. As you well know, the rest of the crap is going to be waiting for you when you get back … so take it a piece at a time, and go forward. There’s only forward … backward is boring!”

training 2

Unlike paying bills or putting up with nonsense, training is something I get to do!!!!  I know DMcG’s been trying to plow this into my head … reminding me that training is my  time to spend time out, with the dog or whatever …. racing is something I get to do because I do have fun with it. I’ve never really set goals, I’m starting to get why … but part of my re-wiring situation is this … racing is the prize for training. 

Getting the finances straightened out mellows the house out.
Getting the masters in line starts the next phase of things.
Getting the crapola out of the house makes me comfy having friends over.

But … what I’m going with right now … is my new mantra … which I’m sure  DMcG will remind me when I don’t feel like training:

Racing is the Prize for Training!!!!!





Sun is out – taking it easy … and the Boston Merrython

19 04 2009

Yeah – the sun shocked the heck out of me this morning. I didn’t get to sleep until around 3 a.m. – reading – so it was really strange. It’s a sloppy mess here. Ok – those who are probalby far more dedicated than I are able to go out in this, but I took it easy. Coming down the stairs at a friend’s last night, I felt a nasty twinge behind my knee … Sometimes I liked it better when I was hell-bent-for-leather, but that’s not going to keep me around for a while, eh what?

Mike Mc and Steve G. are two pals who are out there proving they are not letting their lungs keep them down. Steve’s had brittle asthma, I think, for his life. He’s probably broken more ground than most just because of his drive. I’ve not had the privledge to meet him personally (YET) but if you happen to see a guy carrying more inhailers than the law allows … that’s probably Steve! Mike Mc knows that he “did it to himself” and is making every moment count … being an amazing friend/brother/uncle to freaks like me and, more importantly, grandpa. He got the clearance from his doc (who will be there, I think) to race and then went through so much red-tape that I thought he was going to be mummified! Determination and “waddya mean I can’t use my cart I’ve used in huge events … it’s where I carry my air!!”

Yeah, Mike totes his air. He knows that even with the wonkiness which is my leg, I would have been out there carrying his back-up backpack of air if they told him he had to go that route. That’s what this guy means to me. I’d probably have pockets stuffed with stuff for Steve too … and now that my running friend Happy is winged (he had to have surgery on his arm after a bike accident last month) … I’d probably do the race in a nurse’s uniform!

Another friend of mine who is blind is doing the event. It is a huge endeavor, but for other “mobility impaired” athletes, there are rules: http://www.bostonmarathon.com/BostonMarathon/Disabilities.asp but for air issues, groundbreaking time! I know that people have “garden variety” asthma … myself included … and carry inhalers (which my doc would be a lot happier if I would) because when I was working the chutes at the Bolder Boulder, people were taking puffs or carrying them as they crossed the line. Steve’s asthma is FAR from “garden variety”. I recall something about his not having everything he needed for the Portland Marathon a couple of years ago and scrambling.

I am very serious, however, about Mike’s air buggy. The jalopy is toted by him and, yeah, it sticks out but he’s pretty freaking amazing maneuvering it. I will admit he did run over my foot once but it was either we were turning around because I’d taken us down a wrong road or I got too close … either way it wasn’t the cart’s fault. People, however, have to pay attention. (I’m fingering my soap box about wearing headphones in a race and crawling in to the music to the obscuring of everyone around … but I’ll just leave it in the corner.)

Mike’s been great with me and my frustration with getting healthy vs. racing my sneakers off. I’m looking forward to figuring out places where we can both walk … ok – my distance covered will probably be more simply because of our speed difference, but that’s cool.

As long as Denver keeps drying out, I’m waking up early to just log easy miles. I’m looking forward to it. I don’t use the areas right nearby for a lot of reasons; most of which make no sense to anyone but me. I like being away and having the time to myself. I must admit, however, that I’m looking forward to crazy weather being over so I can set a schedule to do my workouts.

Off to take care of another pile of things … even though it doesn’t feel like I’m moving forward … like the problem I’ve had with my slow speeds walking as opposed to when I used to run … every step counts … just sometimes takes a while to realize it.

Cheers – Lizzy